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This girl needs some practice. I'm available!
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Dec 23 2011 at 07:16:23 GMT |
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damn she's hot :) |
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| Webmaster of AhoyNoob |
Dec 23 2011 at 07:16:58 GMT |
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Don't fall for it!
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Dec 23 2011 at 07:17:29 GMT |
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They have now discovered a cure for a headache and an earache!
Stay single.
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Dec 23 2011 at 07:17:42 GMT |
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Barman says to paddy," Your glass is empty do you want another one."
Paddy says " why the fuck would I want two empty glasses.? " |
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Dec 23 2011 at 07:18:03 GMT |
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Met a girl with a plasticine fanny last week.
Haven't shagged her yet but I think I've made an impression.
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Dec 23 2011 at 07:18:23 GMT |
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The Wimbledon Common flasher...
"Under my overcoat
Dangling free..."
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Dec 23 2011 at 07:19:32 GMT |
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Great clock
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Dec 23 2011 at 07:20:13 GMT |
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Dec 23 2011 at 07:20:45 GMT |
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I played Cluedo, the Lesbian Edition
Miss Scarlett did it with Nurse White in the swimming pool with the candlestick
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Dec 23 2011 at 07:21:06 GMT |
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I can't wait to see the look on my wifes face on Christmas morning.
She's had a stroke and she looks fucking funny.
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Dec 23 2011 at 07:21:20 GMT |
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50% of people who attend work Christmas parties would be open to having sex with a co-worker!
The other 50% are women.
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Dec 23 2011 at 07:21:38 GMT |
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Dec 23 2011 at 07:22:27 GMT |
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Fancy living here...
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Dec 23 2011 at 07:23:24 GMT |
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I'll only get arrested!
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Dec 23 2011 at 07:24:14 GMT |
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Dec 23 2011 at 07:24:47 GMT |
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I ripped a bunch of pubes out on the bus today.
It hurt so much!
Especially when the guy who I did it to woke up and punched me.
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Dec 23 2011 at 07:25:18 GMT |
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Dear Santa,
I am writing to tell you that I was naughty this year and it was worth it you fat judgemental bastard |
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Dec 23 2011 at 07:25:48 GMT |
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Oops - Fat bastard
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Dec 23 2011 at 07:26:45 GMT |
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My wife asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I said a bike.
So she's got me a 20 speed Raleigh with all the bits on.
I would have preferred our slutty neighbour.
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Dec 23 2011 at 07:27:20 GMT |
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I got knocked over by a cyclist earlier. Whilst I was laying on the deck he said "think yourself lucky"
I said "why the fuck should I think myself lucky?"
He said "I usually drive a bus"
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Dec 23 2011 at 07:27:40 GMT |
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My wife's hot in bed.
I blame all the fat.
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Dec 23 2011 at 07:27:58 GMT |
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Granny knot, surgeon's knot, hangman's knot, square knot.
I can't do them, but my headphones sure fucking can.
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Dec 23 2011 at 07:28:12 GMT |
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The police came to my front door last night holding a picture of my wife...
They said, "Is this your wife, sir?"
Shocked, I answered, "Yes."...
They said, "I'm afraid it looks like she's been hit by a bus."....
I said,. "I know,.. but she's good with the kids
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Dec 23 2011 at 07:28:47 GMT |
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Dec 23 2011 at 07:29:20 GMT |
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Dec 23 2011 at 07:30:06 GMT |
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Yes you old tart, they're real - Are yours?
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Dec 23 2011 at 07:31:12 GMT |
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My kinda gal!
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Dec 23 2011 at 07:32:22 GMT |
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Whenever I think it's OK to play, there's some twat with a camera
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Dec 23 2011 at 07:33:49 GMT |
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Well, fuck a duck!
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Dec 23 2011 at 07:34:59 GMT |
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I had been pestering the good lady for some back door action for about 5 years
Finally she snapped and said, “Right we can go for it but only if I can spend the rainy day money on new curtains and not on the 3D telly you are wanting”
I had a think and remember what my father said to me “If you’re not sure about something son, listen to your heart”
So I dug out my old stethoscope and put it on my chest and heard “bum bum, bum bum, bum bum, bum bum, bum bum”!
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Dec 23 2011 at 07:35:26 GMT |
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Guy walks into a pub asks for anything but Stella .
Barman Asks " whats wrong with stella?"
Bloke says. " I had 12 pints of stella last night and when i came round i was fucking skint."
Barman says. "12 pints of anything would have cost the same."
Bloke Replies. " Skint's my dog."
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Dec 23 2011 at 07:35:44 GMT |
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What do you call three blondes standing with their heads together?
A wind tunnel!
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Dec 23 2011 at 07:36:07 GMT |
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Well, that's it for now...
Remember that you were told if you wanked it'd send you blind? It was lies. You only end up wearing glasses!
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Dec 23 2011 at 07:37:39 GMT |
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