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I bet you did you fat little fucker
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
May 27 2012 at 06:51:22 GMT |
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The baton, the fucking baton!
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
May 27 2012 at 06:52:12 GMT |
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I don't know how she did it either!
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
May 27 2012 at 06:52:54 GMT |
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Chiefy was not amused and threatened to insert his swagger stick where the sun didn't shine
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
May 27 2012 at 06:57:18 GMT |
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Twenty minutes later...
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
May 27 2012 at 06:57:32 GMT |
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
May 27 2012 at 06:58:50 GMT |
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
May 27 2012 at 06:59:24 GMT |
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I did, I'm in court Tuesday!
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
May 27 2012 at 07:00:11 GMT |
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I was getting chatted up by some bird in a club last night, she said to me "Have you got a nickname?"
"Well my mates call me the sledge" I replied.
"Why because your sleek and fast?"she giggled.
I said "No, its because I always get pulled by dogs."
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
May 27 2012 at 07:00:56 GMT |
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During a lady's medical examination, the doctors says, "Your heart, lungs, pulse and blood pressure are all fine. Now let me see that little thing which gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble."
The lady starts taking off her clothes but is interrupted by the doctor.
"No! No! Please don't remove your clothes... just show me your tongue!"
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
May 27 2012 at 07:01:22 GMT |
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I bought a book called "How to cope with frustration."
The fucking pages are all stuck together.
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
May 27 2012 at 07:01:38 GMT |
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I saw an old mate in a bar tonight.
"Alright Dave, long time," he said, "how's the happy life with you and that stunning girlfriend of yours treating you?"
"It all ended tragically about 8 years ago mate," I said tearfully.
"Ah, split up did you's?" He asked.
"Nah mate, we got married and had 3 kids," I replied.
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
May 27 2012 at 07:01:58 GMT |
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I walked into the house today with dogshit all over the toe of my shoe.
"Oh Jesus fucking Christ" said the wife, gagging. "That fucking stinks!"
"Yeah I know." I replied. "Next door's westie took a shit at the end of our path."
"And you had to go and stand in it, didn't you?" she said, sarcastically.
"No, I spotted it in time." I told her. "I got this kicking the little cunt up the arse."
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
May 27 2012 at 07:02:41 GMT |
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Careful how you park you twat
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
May 27 2012 at 07:03:43 GMT |
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This might happen
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
May 27 2012 at 07:04:10 GMT |
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There is a stop pedal you know
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
May 27 2012 at 07:05:34 GMT |
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Never "blip" the throttle on an automatic
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
May 27 2012 at 07:06:30 GMT |
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Threat or promise?
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
May 27 2012 at 07:08:13 GMT |
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I was disappointed while watching amateur porn last night.
The neighbours closed their curtains.
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
May 27 2012 at 07:08:28 GMT |
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I was in the pub last night and I said to my friend, "Golf has given me some of the happiest days of my life."
"I didn't know you played." He replied.
"I don't, but the wife does."
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
May 27 2012 at 07:08:45 GMT |
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Took the wife to a disco last night.
There was a guy on the dance floor giving it large, breakdancing, moonwalking, back flips, the works.
My wife said "That guy proposed to me 25 years ago, and I turned him down"
I said "looks like he’s still celebrating"
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
May 27 2012 at 07:09:26 GMT |
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A Blonde went to the Hospital to donate blood. The nurse asked "What type are you?"
The Blonde replied "I'm an outgoing cat-lover"
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
May 27 2012 at 07:09:46 GMT |
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Me and the wife were arguing about what to watch on TV last night.
I said, "If you're gonna make me watch that gay European shit you have to let me shag you up the arse later."
She said, "Fine."
So we settled down to watch the football.
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
May 27 2012 at 07:10:04 GMT |
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As a keen amateur chef I like to experiment with my food.
I recently found that by adding a little butter I can get two chicken fillets and a potato up my arse.
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
May 27 2012 at 07:10:19 GMT |
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Ah bugger, let's get political.....
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
May 27 2012 at 07:11:04 GMT |
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
May 27 2012 at 07:11:41 GMT |
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
May 27 2012 at 07:12:11 GMT |
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
May 27 2012 at 07:12:54 GMT |
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
May 27 2012 at 07:13:28 GMT |
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
May 27 2012 at 07:13:53 GMT |
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
May 27 2012 at 07:14:17 GMT |
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
May 27 2012 at 07:15:00 GMT |
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
May 27 2012 at 07:15:49 GMT |
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Please note, the political views expressed above do not necessarily reflect those of the poster, who simply hates everybody and everything |
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
May 27 2012 at 07:17:24 GMT |
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Well, it's sunny out there, I'm off to the pub.
Enjoy this delightful day, before some bastard screws it up for you.
But, I'll tell you here and now, if I was ever going to have sex with an animat it would be with a penguin nobody would ever guess as it walked away!
Ciao folks |
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
May 27 2012 at 07:20:19 GMT |
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