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Puts me in the right mood
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Aug 1 2012 at 06:12:50 GMT |
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Strewth! This bloke's got 2 cocks
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Aug 1 2012 at 06:13:38 GMT |
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"No officer, you have it all wrong!"
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Aug 1 2012 at 06:14:22 GMT |
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So that's why they're never on time!
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Aug 1 2012 at 06:15:09 GMT |
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Aptly named
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Aug 1 2012 at 06:15:38 GMT |
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I'm a touch partial to it myself
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Aug 1 2012 at 06:16:28 GMT |
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These are fucking big peanuts
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Aug 1 2012 at 06:17:08 GMT |
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This teacher is totally out of touch!
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Aug 1 2012 at 06:18:01 GMT |
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Bus wankers?
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Aug 1 2012 at 06:18:31 GMT |
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Dirty mind
Really! How could you think such things? |
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Aug 1 2012 at 06:19:24 GMT |
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This is one bird who isn't getting anywhere near my tackle
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Aug 1 2012 at 06:20:13 GMT |
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My wife was arguing with me and all her points seemed valid and reasonable.
So I had another drink.
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Aug 1 2012 at 06:20:28 GMT |
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I've been having real problems with nuisance phone calls lately.
The most common one seems to be "You said you'd be home from the pub three fucking hours ago!"
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Aug 1 2012 at 06:20:56 GMT |
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What's the best way to avoid getting dog shit on yourself?
Use a condom.
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Aug 1 2012 at 06:21:12 GMT |
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The wife was in labour, shouting the usual shit, "Get this out of me! Give me the drugs!" She turns to me and says, "You did this to me, you fucker!"
I casually replied, "If you remember Love, I wanted to stick it up your arse, but you said, 'fuck off it'll be too painful.'"
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Aug 1 2012 at 06:21:30 GMT |
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My job is so fucking unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:
First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless.
The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on make-up.
She is extremely self-centred and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself.
She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.
The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet.
Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10.
I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts.
I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store she moans like a cat in heat.
But the jewel in the crown has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead.
In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work.
He probably hasn't been sober any time in the last ten years, and he's only 22.
He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big fucking dog to work.
Every fucking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke.
Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing.
Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonald's and Burger King, every single fucking day.
Anyway, I drive these fucktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Aug 1 2012 at 06:21:58 GMT |
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I find this strangely disturbing
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Aug 1 2012 at 06:22:40 GMT |
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Best not ask
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Aug 1 2012 at 06:23:15 GMT |
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Good advice? Nah, give the bitch some shit
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Aug 1 2012 at 06:24:08 GMT |
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Fair advice
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Aug 1 2012 at 06:24:42 GMT |
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Look at that! A fucking crafty grope. - Bent bastard
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Aug 1 2012 at 06:25:33 GMT |
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I think she's planning on having a party of some sort
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Aug 1 2012 at 06:26:21 GMT |
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One trick I've not tried. - Wonder if he found any?
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Aug 1 2012 at 06:27:17 GMT |
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I just found this funny
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Aug 1 2012 at 06:27:51 GMT |
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I was a bit disappointed when I went to watch The Olympics yesterday.
If I'd wanted to sit in a room full of empty seats I'd have booked tickets to a Gary Glitter concert.
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Aug 1 2012 at 06:28:11 GMT |
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My wedding anniversary is coming up and I am thinking on spending a lot of money for a trip.
The further away I get from that miserable cunt, the better.
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Aug 1 2012 at 06:28:40 GMT |
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Gay marriage is now legal in Scotland.
Food won't be the only thing getting battered at the weekend.
They're also going to lose their top ranking as the worlds most tight-arsed nation!
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Aug 1 2012 at 06:29:10 GMT |
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What is the most favoured sexual position of married men?
Drunk.
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Aug 1 2012 at 06:29:29 GMT |
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After twenty years of marriage, I can honestly say the wife and I have only argued three times.
Morning, noon and night
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Aug 1 2012 at 06:29:44 GMT |
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Getting fucking married next week.
I told my fiancée I'll set a date the day I see the Queen jump out of a helicopter.
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Aug 1 2012 at 06:30:06 GMT |
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I watched some of that 'clown porn' earlier, there sure were a lot of creampies. |
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Aug 1 2012 at 06:30:35 GMT |
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Next time she'll make sure he washed it first
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Aug 1 2012 at 06:31:58 GMT |
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Aug 1 2012 at 06:32:21 GMT |
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Aug 1 2012 at 06:32:56 GMT |
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This could be expensive
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Aug 1 2012 at 06:33:33 GMT |
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Piss on the floor please
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Aug 1 2012 at 06:34:15 GMT |
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Aug 1 2012 at 06:34:47 GMT |
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Fuck me! - Just the same as when I mount the wife
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Aug 1 2012 at 06:35:36 GMT |
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The ex-wife took mine - Fucking bitch
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Aug 1 2012 at 06:36:20 GMT |
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Aug 1 2012 at 06:36:45 GMT |
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This is wrong on the bit I can see, therefore I assume the rest is equal shit
Bet the knob drives a Ford Ka |
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Aug 1 2012 at 06:37:59 GMT |
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That's all for now.
This is your favourite old fart signing off, but still wondering, are socks the single mans' condom?
Catch y'all again |
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| Miserable old f*cker (MOF) |
Aug 1 2012 at 06:40:24 GMT |
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